magnetic south

when i decided that i was in fact going to return to the motherland and put the unfolding of my southamerican life on pause, i knew i couldnt leave without spending some time in patagonia. I´ve been completely fascinated by the extremity of it for years... the intense beauty, the neccesity of adventure and the almost unbelievable landscapes that i, to this point, experienced only second-hand through photographs and legendary stories.

i bought my ticket to the furthest south in chile i could get... Punta Arenas "the edge of the earth" and am making my way north right now. I´m hoping to spend the next two weeks exploring around. First to the cuernos and guanacos of Torres del Paine for 4 or 5 days then hopping over to El Chalten Argentina to visit Fitz Roy (from the groundlevel) and see the Perito Moreno glacier. I´m spending tomorrow in town collecting all of the gear, maps, fuel and food ill need for the next week or so. Im solo at this point, thinking maybe ill meet some interesting travel companions along the way, which usually happens, but if not thats okay too.

So far? Its COOOLD!! But beautiful. On the bus ride from Punta Arenas to Puerto Natales today the highway ran along the water for a while and it really did look like the end of the world, the ocean came right up to meet the golden windswept land. No waves or anything, it just looked convex as if the water was about to spill over if not for some unseen force holding it all together.

So ill be gone from the blog for a while but in the meantime thought I´d leave you with some photos of what I might be seeing along the way...


the cuernos, torres del paine


guanacos!


puma! (she doesnt look hungry does she?)


fitz roy peaks at first light

imgoentobohhhhhzeman!

imgoentoboohhhhzeman!imgoentobohhhhzman!
(picture me doing my happy dance over here)
yay! thanks guys for all your good vibes, thoughts, forces, wills... they worked!

I called TPL this morning to accept the job offer they made me earlier this week and I am very very excited. very very.

Things are happening quickly here. My last day at NESsT was yesterday and my coworkers took me out for sushi and beer and a little goodbye party where they gifted me really nice polypro long underwear from Lippi (a chilean mountaineering company) for my trip down south and mixes of chilean music to remind me of my time here. very sweet.

i leave this afternoon to valparaiso with some friends to say goodbye to the pacific and tell her ill see her soon up north. were having a despedida at my house on sunday and then will be shipping myself to the land of wind and ice for the next couple weeks. Back into the life of a hurricane.

It feels really good though. We were sitting in this smokey bar last night, eyes burning, in a city of 7 million bodies where the air pollution rating is so dangerously high that people are warned to stay indoors...

My nesst friends (very much international women and men of mystery) kept asking me if people spoke in a southern accent where i was going or if i would ride a horse to work, did i know anybody that actually lived there? where was it again? in the midwest? montana?

i just smiled and nodded thinking how nice it will be to breathe deeply again. in so many ways.

¡corre a las montañas!

Well as you can tell from my last posting, things were getting a bit nutty here in the city last week. I realized all of a sudden that my mind was spinning years beyond the here and now and over things I couldn’t control, making me restless, uncertain and unhappy. Not good. Something needed to be done. I needed some perspective.

And I knew exactly where to find it.

Sunday morning I bundled in my winter gear and set out from the house at 6:30 in total darkness, starting my day as most partiers in my neighborhood were ending theirs. I met my always-dependable adventure buddy Joe downtown and we made our way to Santiago’s bus terminal. Joe himself was just pulling out of party mode so we got him some empanadas and us some bus tickets for the first leg of a good journey. 10 minutes later we were on a bus headed for the Andes and I was breathing easier. Staring out the window, watching city turn to space, fields turn to vineyards, altiplano turn to rugged jagged peaks. God, I love moving. I love motion.

Our destination was Laguna del Inca, a lake sitting at the base of three beautiful peaks called Tres Hermanos and the famous ski haven, Portillo. We hiked around, got dirty, climbed rocks, laughed, he took pictures of backcountry ski lines for the winter, I took a nap in the sun over the shining green lake. Perfect.


The winding road about halfway up the pass. Every curva has a number... Curva 28, Curva 31. I think its so they can easily find trucks that fall over the edge. Really.


Portillo. Nunca cerrado.


And look who I found in the ski lodge! A photo of the US Ski Team circa 98-99. Check out the second row, 4 in from the left side. My very own Megan Ganong! What a badass you are! Nice headband too, hotstuff.


Laguna del Inca y Los Tres Hermanos


Some perspective. Look for Joe in the red jacket on the rock outcropping on the left. We people are verrrry little in this world.


A little sun nap


Awake

Because we were on the Argentine border, the customs police were really strict about which buses could carry whom from where so we had to hitchhike down. We weren’t having too much luck, the sun was starting to make long shadows over the gigantic peaks and we were getting cold. Finally, a rickety old converted bus stopped, we jumped in and asked where they were headed. “Down” they said. “Great” we said. I look up and realize we hitched a ride with a vanload full of construction workers, still wearing their orange jerseys and blue hard hats. Too funny. They were pretty entertaining with their dirty jokes and funny nicknames for each other (granny, little biscuit, fat birdy). I was glad Joe was male and we made it down in one piece.

A couple hours later we were back in Santiago and I was home in time to collapse in bed. Exhausted and happy from a day in the mountains.

madness and monkeybars

so i really suck at this waiting game.
like really bad.

and i hate the feeling of knowing that what stands between me and something i want so much is a decision to that is out of my hands. I guess ive been a bit spoiled to this point by feeling like im actually able to control my own destiny.

a lot of luck and some fierce determination (which i'm pretty sure is genetic) has gotten me in and out of pretty incredible situations. i've always felt like if i wanted something i could make it happen. because when i really wanted it, i would see it and everything else would fall away, everything else would get quiet. eyes on the prize style.

and im really good at holding on. you know those contests in elementary school when your friends would hang from the monkey bars and the last to drop to the sand, the one who could stand the burning of their shoulders pulling out of their body, would win? i was good at that game.

but now, sitting on my hands here i feel helpless. ugh. i hate being helpless. I check my email, pace around the house, feel like puking, all very pretty... and i feel like im losing my sanity. or the small amount i had to begin with. but it will be over soon. somehow i run my mind into total exhaustion spinning through 'what if' scenarios and fall asleep and then its morning and im one day closer to finding out. im most scared that it will be bad news, that this great 'what if' that i now want more than anything else wont be mine at the end of it all.

of course something else will come along if it isnt going to be mine... something else always does. but darn it if i could only bring this other girl out to the playground and challenge her to the monkey bar contest. i could kick some real butt then.

remind me why we dont do that in grown-up world again?